Monday, January 3, 2011

2011

One of the best parts of having several weeks off around Christmas is that it gives me the chance to reflect on the previous year and set some goals for the new one. With four weeks between semesters, I find I can step back from the minute details of my life and really focus on what I want to do differently. I also get to sleep in a lot, which helps too.

But over the last few years I've done a lousy job of this, and my goals have been kind of prosaic--stuff like "lay sod in the back yard," an admirable goal for 2010 that, unfortunately, didn't come to fruition. And even worse, even if it had, I don't think it would have made a profound improvement in my character or life.

So this year I am making what I hope will be deep goals, things that are rooted in my core values and that have the potential to truly transform what I do as husband, father, Latter-day Saint, and member of my community. Following what was a successful approach as a missionary, each goal is tied to a scriptural phrase as part of the process of making that goal bigger than just a to-do list. And, because blogging something makes it more real for me, here are my three main goals for 2011:

Feast on the words of Christ. My scripture study habits have become soft over time, and I simply need to be more consistent. We've done it with family scripture study; now I need to do it with personal scripture study.

Seek learning by study and by faith. In addition to reading the scriptures daily, I need to broaden and deepen my learning. This applies to my dissertation, my gospel study, and my leisure reading. Across the board, I need to be both more selective and more voracious in finding, consuming, and internalizing valuable ideas.

Minister with power. The best experiences I have had this past year have been in one-on-one settings. Whether with members of the ward, co-workers, my kids, or my wife, opportunities to stop what I'm doing and listen to another person, to share a moment of connection and compassion have made the biggest difference. These moments make my work, my church service, and my life richer and more meaningful. As a hard-core introvert, this is not my natural state, so I need to strive for these kinds of opportunities. Like scripture study, it's too important to leave to chance. Rather, I need to actively create time for these sorts of interactions.

Here then are some specific actions I want to focus on for each of these goals.

Feast on the words of Christ. The real challenge here is to find the right time of day for scripture study. Mornings seem like an obvious time, since I tend to wake up early. But I also tend to have a lot to do early in the morning--grading essays, housework, emailing, etc. The commute to work might be a good time, as might lunch time. Either way will require disciple, which is definitely something I need more of in my life.

Seek learning by study and by faith. The main focus here must be my dissertation. I've had some serious obstacles over the past few years, but I need to stop making excuses and start working more consistently. That means writing every day, meeting with my adviser more often, and really developing an end-game strategy. Simply stated, I need to finish this year.

Minister with power. The thing I admire most about people with whom I serve in the Church is their ability to connect with people on an individual basis and make them feel valuable and loved. This is something I don't do well; my emphasis on getting things done often results in a hurried life devoid of personal connection or the kind of warmth that really makes a difference in people's lives.

Over the next few days I will make some additional observations about each of these goals, getting specific in terms of how I see myself doing these things and how this will improve my life. And maybe even get me out of laying sod.

2 comments:

jlbunting.com said...

Oh boy, can I relate to that second-to-last paragraph. I often wonder how people who take the time to really develop relationships ever get anything done. This is probably why I didn't talk to you guys for 5 years, I don't take the time to keep in touch with people. Anyway, you very eloquently expressed something I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe I need to make a similar resolution. Good luck with yours!

dastew said...

Becky you're totally right. I don't think we're very good at developing relationships as a culture. This was one of the common complaints with missionaries in France, they'd invest a lot emotionally and spiritually with people and then when they left (via transfers or others) the members would never hear from them again. I do this with my own family. I'll go months without talking to them. Not because I don't love them, but because it's easier to only talk to them when something big is going on.