It Begins With Cool

I’ll start by easing into this blog. My background is not horribly important, but it may be worth a moment or two. I’m generally left of center, but less so than I was 10 (or even 5) years ago. I’m a bit disillusioned, but not completely cynical. I was against the impeachment of Bill Clinton on the grounds that perjury is not “high crimes and misdemeanors.” I’m (somewhat) pro-choice because I can’t accept the idea of politicians deciding over the consensus of medical professionals, and as a man I find telling a woman that her reproductive decisions will be made by (mostly) male politicians to be the epitome of crassness and pretension. I have been against the Iraq war since day 1 because I find wars of aggression to be indefensible.

At the same time, as I slide into my 30s (I’ve been at work on this for a few years now), I find my views on gun control, taxes, and health care sliding to the center (or, in some cases, the right—at times I think the 20-year-old version of me would not like the current me much…). Perhaps I’m slowly becoming a libertarian more than anything else.

So, with that out of the way, here’s my first rant. Most of what will appear here over the next few weeks will focus on electoral politics, particularly the presidential race. Here’s my new theory of presidential campaigns: coolest candidate wins. That’s it. At least since I was born, every presidential race has been won by the cooler candidate. (Admittedly there are some outliers, such as Carter in ’76 and HW in ’88, neither of whom was really “cool,” but both faced even less cool opponents, so the theory still holds, even at the low end of the spectrum.) Reagan, Clinton, and, to a lesser extent, W all won by being cooler than Carter and Mondale, HW and Dole, and Gore and Kerry, respectively. There’s a reason the cool ones have been two-termers.

Here’s why, I think, this theory holds. It’s one part high school politics—people like people who are cool and poised. As much as we bash celebrities and famous folk, we admire those who have “it.” Perhaps we hope to see ourselves in them, and perhaps we hope that they will fall once they ascend to such heights.

It’s also one part spin. Cool candidates overcome scandal; they’re called “Teflon” and “slick” for a reason. They spend less time on the defensive and more time framing their arguments for themselves. They don’t get ugly under pressure (think JFK vs. Nixon in the famous ’60 TV debate). And due to their coolness, when they speak to people, they inspire them; even if you don’t agree with the candidate’s platform, you find his words both moving and reassuring, ala “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” or Clinton post-OK City, or W in NYC days after 9/11.

What does this say for this year? In some ways, it’s a bizarro 1976 or 1988, with a high cool quotient. Obama has been able to overcome Jeremiah Wright, the fist bump New Yorker cover, and the 3 am ad. None of it has stuck well. And his 2004 DNC keynote is one of the coolest political speeches of my lifetime.

On the other hand, McCain came back from a dead campaign a year ago, which is pretty cool. And his maverick shtick is certainly cool. His age works against his overall coolness, but the POW experience is cool in ways that other veterans-turned-politicans’ backgrounds typically aren’t.

Ultimately, however, I think that Obama wins a head-to-head cool duel, and here’s why. I saw a piece from his trip to Europe and the Middle East last month when, visiting troops at a military base, Obama drilled a three-pointer. With cameras rolling and (likely) dubious troops filling the gym, the kind of condition that rattles pros, he nailed the shot. Very cool. Maybe presidential contests would be best conducted as a game of horse or poker, to see who holds up under pressure and stays cool. It'd at least be better than the "debates."